Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Big Oil Companies Embrace Ethanol

News Alert American Petroleum Big Oil April FoolsDateline April 1, 2008, Washington D.C.

In a stunning development announced today, major oil companies have joined together to embrace the cleaner-burning American-grown biofuel.

In a press conference held in Washington DC, the CEOs of the major companies spoke about their sudden and dramatic change of heart.
"Why yes, we've tried to kill off competition and keep the American motorist locked to higher-priced, dirty fossil fuels." said Stanley Sinclair, President and CEO of SkyHigh Oil. "But hey, it was business."
After years of fighting alternatives to limited fossil fuels bought from foreign countries, the major oil companies have finally agreed that energy independence is good for America.

"We just can't sit around and fight ethanol all day"
one of the CEOs candidly remarked. "We've got to finally do something good for America!"

Besides being good for the American environment and economy, the oil executives also touted ethanol's high performance which has been widely known for year:
  • The ethanol in E-10 Unleaded adds two to three points of octane to ordinary gasoline, helping improve engine performance.
  • Ethanol helps prevent the build-up of power-robbing deposits in fuel injection systems.
  • Ethanol suspends moisture in the fuel systems, eliminating the need for gas tank additives in cold weather.
  • Ethanol reduces toxic emissions in engine exhaust, helping keep America’s air cleaner.
The conference concluded with the oil execs discussing plans for returning excess profits to American consumers from the past years.

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1 comment:

Burl Haigwood Clean Fuels Development Coalition said...

And Happy April Fools Day to You!!